Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Ultimate Planet Ride

As a New Yorker, we take subways and buses everyday with our monthly unlimited $81 metro card. I live in Queens, thanks to the NYC bus, it provides a spectacle at every stop. Couple days ago, an extraterrestrial got on the Q44. Or, if she wasn't an extraterrestrial, she at least claimed to be one.

The bus stopped, the doors opened and a voice outside bellowed: "I NEED A SEAT IN THE FRONT. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET OUT OF THE FRONT!" Soon, the legs of someone who must have weighed 500 pounds appeared. Elderly women abandoned their front seats. The 500-pound woman lumbered onto the bus and collapsed into a tiny little seat. (I can't even managed to stand in front of her, I might spill my lovely Starbucks on her legs.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME, SO WHAT NOW?"No one hates you," the bus driver said soothingly. But the woman didn't hear him. And soon it was obvious that we, the other passengers, were going to be the audience for an improvised monologue.

"WHERE'S MY FU*KING STOP! TAKE ME HOME!" yelled the woman. I thought to myself, that's the reason you get on a bus. But it was soon apparent that this woman was not asking to be let off at any ordinary destination. "GET ME OUTTA HERE! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ON PLANET EARTH ANYMORE! I DON'T FIT IN! YOU GOTTA HAVE MONEY TO LIVE ON PLANET EARTH! YOU GOTTA HAVE MONEY TO LIVE ON PLANET EARTH!"

A twenty minutes bus ride. As I got off the bus, scratching my head, I wondered which planet was the woman's destination. And did she expect the bus to take her there?


3 comments:

  1. Is this usually happened?

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  2. NYC is a wonderful city. It's also a place where you see men peeing in the street.

    ReplyDelete